Well, after months of dealing with our smoking neighbors, we've officially decided to move--to a different apartment in the same complex we're in now. We're actually not even switching buildings at all. And our floor plan will be exactly the same--just flipped. It's really not that big of a deal. And I'm really grateful that we don't have to go through the hassle of switching complexes and that we don't even have to load our stuff into a car in order to move it. It's the simplest move ever. But for some reason I'm really sad about it.
Maybe it's because I started packing things up a few weeks ago and our apartment feels really sad and empty with no pictures on the walls and no candles or random knick knacks scattered all over the place. It just doesn't really feel like a home without those things!
Or maybe it's because we were planning on living in this apartment for at least two years and it feels like it's too soon to be moving again.
Or maybe it's because I had been making good progress on planning and decorating our little girl's nursery and it all had to be postponed and now there are dozens of packed boxes filling up her room instead of cute baby things.
Or maybe it's because we had planned on bringing our first baby home to this apartment and becoming a family of three here.
Like I said, this move shouldn't be a big deal. But I guess it still makes me sad that all of the plans we had for this little home of ours just aren't going to happen here.
(Plus, let's be honest, moving at 31 weeks pregnant is going to really suck.)
But that's all okay. Because like I said, we're literally moving a few hundred feet away. And our new apartment is basically the same. And that will be the place where we bring our girl home and start our new life as a family of three. Because it's not the walls and the doors and the windows and the cabinets that make a home--it's the people who live there and what they choose to create in that place.
So even though I'm sad to move on from this place I've called home for the past 10 months, no matter how smoky and gross it is, I know all the hopes and wishes and plans I had for this home will do just as well in our new one.
"At the end of the day, it isn't where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I'm going
and never have been before."
- Warsan Shire
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